Tell 'em what I took, man!

Reflections of a repatriated ex-patriot

Monday, February 19, 2007

This week's entry: Is he bad ass or frivolass?

Back in 2003, a man was fired from IBM for logging on to an adult chatroom during work. Now he's trying to SUE the company for violation of the American Disabilities Act. How could you sue a company on such seemingly ridiculous and unrelated grounds? Well, according to the former employee and Vietnam war veteran, using the internet was "a form of self-medication" for post-traumatic stress suffered after losing a good friend in battle. So during a break in his regular schedule, James Pacenza logged on to an internet chatroom in order to "tempt [himself] to perhaps become involved in some titillating conversation."

Yeah right, nice choice of words there perv-boy.

Unfortunately for Pacenza, however, he forgot to log out of his session, and some of that 'titallating conversation' was plainly visible for all the other employees to see.

And you know, I could see him winning the case if during his initial interview he had mentioned his dirtly little coffee break plans to his manager.

Oh yeah, just one thing I think I should let you know before I start, Mr. Sanders. Well, you see, every once in a while a get a little down during the day, so, uhm, in order to perk me up a bit, I might have this uncontrollable urge to log on to SpankyChat and tell Debra773 how much I wanna reach down and peel off her silky lace panties, and that kind of thing. I mean, you know how hard it is being a vet and all. We've got special needs that the average person just can't understand.

Had he said that at the outset of his 19 years at IBM and they hired him on anyway, then, maybe ONLY THEN, would I think he have grounds for a case. Further, if he wins the case, what kind of precedent would be set? I mean, would Bob in the cubicle next to you, the guy who just finished his tour of duty in Iraq, then be allowed to disrupt your hard work on those TPS reports with all that moaning and heavy breathing? Maybe I should go tell my boss about that time in high school when a bully beat me up and gave me a weggie right in front of the hot valedictorian I sat behind (but never talked to), just to try to get my SpankyChat on too.

Even so, if he is somehow able to pull it off, I will gladly award Pacenza:

The awawman bad ass of the week!


Friday, February 16, 2007

My bad-ass of the week award goes to:

pilot Ahmedou Mohamed Lemine

Who thawarted a hijacker's attempt to divert his Canary Island bound plane to Paris.
Realizing that the assailant, who had boarded the flight from Mauritania, didn't speak any French, the pilot made an announcement over the intercom to the passangers of his plan to knock him off balance. The hijacker, who may or may not be Mauritanian, was apparently holding a gun to the pilot's head but was knocked off balance by a sudden manouver of bad ass, pilot Lemine. After falling to the cockpit floor and dropping one of his pistols, the crew overpowered the hijacker and poured hot water on that rat-fucker's face. Get the whole account here.

And here's a lesson to all you would be hijacker pricks: If you demand the pilot take you somewhere even at gunpoint, you had damn well better know some of the language of the place you intend to go.

So here's to you, Ahmedou Mohamed Lemine, you're awawman's bad ass of the week.